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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24779518">All the Things She Said</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlight_fallen/pseuds/Starlight_fallen'>Starlight_fallen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Ineffable Strength [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), F/M, I cannot believe those aren't tags, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Protective Hastur, Protective Ligur, The Author Regrets Nothing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:55:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,462</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24779518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlight_fallen/pseuds/Starlight_fallen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to She Will Be Loved. </p><p>Azira, Anathema, and Crowley are off to college! Crowley has convinced Azira to pursue justice against her abuser, if for no other reason than to make sure he doesn't do it to anyone else (at least that's what he tells Azira). She isn't sure how she'll handle it but she knows Crowley is right. </p><p>Azira meets someone that she never would have expected existed, afraid that this wouldn't be any different than her childhood. </p><p>They're now facing a court battle, PTSD, school, jobs, and new relationships.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Hastur/Ligur (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Ineffable Strength [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. What do you see?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my sequel to She Will Be Loved. While most everything that occurred in that story was based off actual events, everything here is fictional. My attacks were never prosecuted, so this is all what I wished could have happened legally but never did. </p><p>So with that, most of the court processes that will happen in this story are based on what little research I could do online so I’m bound to screw it all up, especially since US and UK laws differ in regard to rape and attempted murder. </p><p> </p><p>I also want to preface this story with, I am in no way minimizing the current state of the US. I fully support Black Lives Matter, fully support defunding the police and using those extra funds in mental health, poverty, and housing assistance, and am fully aware that police brutality is a horrifying reality for black people and other POC. My husband is not white appearing, he’s been detained by ICE at work, I am terrified every time he leaves our home without me, I cannot imagine the fear that he and others with non white skin feel when they’re out in public (or even in their own homes, as Breonna Taylor was). So this story will not sugar coat police, or excuse police brutality. But there is one character, who is going to be a detective and based on a dear friend of mine who I love very much that will be part of this story. I do believe there are good cops out there, however it is a place of privilege that demands those good ones to give up their jobs. We need the good ones there, we need them to speak out and up about the bad ones. If all good cops left the force, I fear that we will sink closer to the totalitarian military state that certain groups scream about when waving around certain flags. </p><p>Without further ado-here’s All the Things She Said!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Azira was aggravated. Crowley and Anathema had barely left her side, except for shifts at the library or classes. Ever since she saw Sandalphon, she’d been on edge but hadn’t been left alone to herself in weeks. Crowley was a godsend, dealing with her panic, her fears, nightmares, and bouts of anxiety, as was Anathema, but they couldn’t be with her 24/7, it was driving her mad. She had work and classes, same as Anathema, Crowley had work, she’d have to learn to get over her fears and not jump every time the doors to the library opened. Crowley and Anathema would have to learn that Azira was a grown person and didn’t need to be treated like a child all the time. She was pretty sure eventually she’d sign up for a self defense class. </p><p>She was delightfully happy overall though. And she owed it all to her boyfriend.  </p><p>She’d told Crowley she was in love with him, the memory making her smile in one of her rare bouts of happiness. He’d kissed her silly and held her all night, even when the nightmares had her waking both of them up with horrible screams. </p><p>He loved her back. Despite everything that happened, Crowley loved her too. She didn’t understand how that could be, but she wasn’t about to complain or make him stop. </p><p>The doors banged open, making Azira flinch harshly. She twirled around to see who it was and after confirming it wasn’t her nightmares come to life again, she scowled at the two adults rushing up to the counter. One had a shaggy mop of blond hair, not dissimilar to Azira’s own blond curls, and the other was a man with, what looked to be a face tattoo of a chameleon. Most likely they had forgotten about an assignment and were rushing to get it done. No matter, the library closed in an hour and they were going to either be done or kicked out. </p><p>They reached the counter, huffing out of breath. </p><p>“We need a book for a research paper!” The blond one huffed, scrambling in his pockets for something. “I need a copy of this book ASAP!” He shoved the paper at Azira. </p><p>Taking the paper from the frantic student, Azira glanced at the title, Psychology’s Grand Theorists: How Personal Experiences Shaped Professional Ideas. </p><p>“I’m not wholly we have this book, but I can order it for you.” Azira said, turning to the computer. </p><p>The blond groaned dramatically, his head hitting the counter in frustration. </p><p>“I told you to start working on it two weeks ago but you didn’t listen.” The other person said, giving a smug grin at his companion. </p><p>Confirming the book wasn’t in the library, Azira looked at them sympathetically, “I can order it, and there’s several other psychology books currently here that you can use in the meantime. I have several recommendations that might be helpful, I believe.” </p><p>Picking his head up, the blond looked up at Azira like she just solved all of his problems with that one sentence. Azira guided them to the stacks and pulled out several books for the students, offering her opinion on the subject. They returned to the desk and Azira started the checkout process. </p><p>“Okay, now I just need your student ID and for you to fill out this form for me to contact you when the book comes in.” </p><p>The student handed his student ID over and Azira finished checking out his books for him. He finished the form and handed it back to Azira. She looked down at the form and confirmed everything was in order. </p><p>“Thank you, just so you know, you’re most likely going to be responsible for me passing this damn class with your recommendations. It’s been kicking me in the ass for two semesters and I cannot fail this class again.” The blond told Azira, grimacing at the reminder he’s taking it for a second time. “Oh! I didn’t get your name. My name is Alex Hastur, but everyone just calls me Hastur. This lump of smug shit here is Jackson Ligur, but he goes by Ligur too.” </p><p>Ligur glared at Hastur, punching him lightly in the shoulder before grinning at Azira. </p><p>Azira just laughed softly, not bothering to reprimand the language since it was just them in the library. “I’m Azira. Nice to meet you two. What are you majoring in?” Azira started to gather up her things and guide the other two towards the door since it was closing. </p><p>“Psychology for me, microbiology for Ligur. You, Azira?” Hastur asked, holding the door for her as they all walked out of the library. </p><p>“Oh I’m doing a double major in Library Sciences and Business.” Azira told them as she locked the door. Frowning as she turned around, she noticed that neither Anathema or Crowley were there yet. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and saw that a text from Crowley was there. </p><p>Crowley: Angel running late. Got a lot of orders to fill. Be late getting to you, stay at the library. </p><p>Azira sighed, not really wanting to wait for Crowley to get off work. She was exhausted, having a full day of classes then a whole 6 hour shift at the library. She appreciated Crowley and Anathema’s protectiveness but it did grate her nerves sometimes when she never got a moment to herself. </p><p>“Are you okay, Azira?” Hastur asked, noticing that she got quiet and was glaring slightly at her phone. </p><p>Snapping her head up, Azira nodded. “Ye-yeah, I’m okay. My ride is just late getting off work and was wanting me to wait here for him.” </p><p>Ligur scowled a little, not liking the idea. It rubbed him the wrong way. “We can walk you wherever you need to go or we can wait with you until they show up.” He offered, Hastur nodding along with him. </p><p>“Oh! Oh I can’t put you out like that, it’s late and Hastur, you had a paper to write, remember?” </p><p>Shrugging, Hastur waved away Azira’s concerns. “I can write it after, it’s wrong to leave someone by themselves this late at night. Besides, I can pick your brain since you seem to know a bunch resources for a degree you’re not even pursuing.” Hastur grinned, causing Azira to grin back at him. </p><p>“Well if you’re sure, Crowley works about 6 blocks away at Eden’s Flower Shop, I certainly can’t turn away the chance to talk about books.” Her face lit up at the thoughts. </p><p>Turning in the right direction to head to Crowley’s job, Azira slipped her phone out and sent Crowley a text. </p><p>Azira: I am heading to you. Don’t fret dear, I have some acquaintances with me so I’m fine.</p><p>Locking her phone, she put it back in her trouser pocket, and she picked up the conversation with Hastur and Ligur. Both were brilliant, even if Hastur procrastinated like hell, which drove Ligur up the wall. Azira gave her thoughts and opinions on the different books that Hastur used for his studies. </p><p>“For someone not pursuing a psychology degree, you sure know plenty about the subject. Were your parents psychologists or therapists?” Hastur asked. </p><p>Azira’s face flushed and she looked down, hesitating in answering that question. She stayed quiet long enough that Hastur and Ligur glanced over her head at each other, both recognizing her reluctance to answer. </p><p>“Hey, you don’t have to tell me anything. Its just odd that someone not pursuing a degree in the topic is so well versed in it. I was just curious.” Hastur reassured her. </p><p>“I spent some time in hospital and read a lot of that time. Books on psychology and mental health seemed like a good idea.” Azira replied. </p><p>She could see out of the corner of her eyes, Ligur wanted to ask about her hospital stay but he kept quiet. Eden’s appeared up the block and Azira could see Crowley locking the door. </p><p>“Well, gentlemen, thank you for walking me, I really hope you didn’t go too far out of your way to do so.” Azira said, smiling slightly. </p><p>“Nah, it’s only a couple blocks from here. See you around the library, Azira.”<br/>
Giving them one last smile, Azira waved them off as she walked to the Bentley where Crowley was waiting for her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I feel so sorry, I feel so sad</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Azira finally reports to the police.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here’s chapter two! We’re going to get a little more insight to Azira reporting to the police. </p><p>Nothing too harsh in this chapter, but it does mention how few cases actually do make it to a courtroom when it concerns rape. Since this story is based in the UK, I did do some research and statistics will be in my after notes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Azira’s leg bounced up and down in a clear show of nerves. Crowley was sitting next to her in the front of the station, waiting for them to call her back to take her statements. He reached out and gripped her hand, to help calm her nerves. </p><p>“Hey, it’ll be okay. I’ll be here with you the whole time.” Crowley reassured her. </p><p>Azira smiled at him but didn’t respond, just continued bouncing her knee. It seemed like forever before a smiling woman walked up to them. She was just a bit taller than Azira, with short brown hair styled similar to Crowley’s. Her face just exuded kindness, instantly making Azira feel a little less nervous about this whole situation. She reached out her hand for Azira to shake, introducing herself. </p><p>“Hello, Azira. My name is Sarabi. I’ll be your dedicated officer while the investigation is going on. Let’s step into the room back here for us to get started.” </p><p>Something about Sarabi immediately had Azira feeling safe and at ease. She could easily see Sarabi was good at her job, she made a deep first impression that made you feel safe. They all stepped in a room that had a very warm glow to it. It wasn’t what either of the younger adults expected, filled with bookshelves, squishy looking couches, and low lighting, giving off a very comfortable aura to the whole room. </p><p>“This is called a comfort suite, this is where we will be anytime we need to talk. They’re designed to make you feel safe and comfortable so that you don’t have anymore strain when helping us help you. We’ve already gotten your reports from the hospital last year, plus statements from your doctors and the therapist you saw while there. Are you still continuing therapy?” Sarabi asked, gesturing for Azira and Crowley to have a seat on the comfy looking couch. </p><p>Both sat down, Azira looking nervously at Crowley. He grabbed her hand again and squeezed gently, urging her to speak. He’d already been prepped and told that he needed to stay quiet and let Azira be the one to talk to the officers. </p><p>It took a few moments for Azira to gather her courage. “No, I haven’t had a chance to find a therapist since starting university.” </p><p>Sarabi nodded, writing in a notepad sitting on her lap. </p><p>“I can give you a list if you would like when we’re done.” Sarabi shot Azira a smile, trying to make her feel more comfortable. Azira just nodded, hunching her shoulders around her ears. </p><p>“So Azira, let’s get the official statement out of the way first. Then I’ll introduce you to the OIC, who will help us go over the steps of bringing this forward to the courts.” Sarabi leaned over and flipped on a tape recorder. “Today is Friday, 13 October 2017. I am DI Sarabi Miller here with Azira Fell and Anthony Crowley to discuss the events that occurred on 22 December 2016. In your own words, tell me what happened and if you know who did it. Take all the time you need.” </p><p>Azira took a deep breath and recounted what she could remember. She admitted the day it happened was fuzzy but she had been awake for most of it. She named Sandalphon Enoch as her attacker, stumbling over his name. Crowley held her hand the whole time, gently squeezing to remind her that she was doing great. After what felt like hours, but couldn’t have been more than 1, Sarabi leaned over and clicked off the tape recorder. </p><p>“Thank you so much, Azira. You’re extremely brave to come forward and tell your story. Let me go get the OIC and introduce you to them.” Sarabi stood up, taking the tape recorder with her. </p><p>The moment the door closed, Azira slumped into Crowley. He ran soothing circles on her shoulder as she buried her head into his neck. </p><p>“You did absolutely amazing angel. You really are so brave, just like Sarabi said.” Crowley whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I’m in awe of how strong you truly are, angel. None of this has been easy and you’ve faced it head on.” </p><p>Azira cuddled closer to Crowley, letting him continue to whisper to her. She didn’t even look up or move away from him when the door opened back up and Sarabi returned. Crowley tapped on her back and motioned for her to sit back up to speak to the officers. </p><p>Standing next to Sarabi was a shorter person, with jet black hair cut in a choppy cut. They had a hard look on their face but their eyes were bright. Both sat down on the couch opposite Azira and Crowley. </p><p>“Azira, Crowley, this is DI Bee Prinze, they’re going to be the officer in the case for this investigation. They’re going to explain to you how the next part is going to move forward.” Sarabi introduced. </p><p>“So with the information you’ve provided, added in with your hospital reports, we are going to move forward with arresting Sandalphon Enoch.” </p><p>Azira’s whole body released it’s tension at that statement. Crowley smiled widely. Bee held up a hand. </p><p>“Don’t get too happy just yet, this is just the first steps. Now, after we have arrested him, we will hand the majority of the case over to the Crown Prosecution Service for them to prosecute him, if they see fit. Looking at the evidence, I don’t doubt they will but we have to caution in case they decide not to. If we go forward with a criminal trial, we will go into prepping you for testimony. Now, Mr. Crowley, I understand you were the one to find Ms. Fell after her attack, correct?” </p><p>Crowley nodded. </p><p>“If this goes to trial, you will be contacted to testify as well about what happened between your discovery and the ambulance arriving. Do either of you have any questions?” </p><p>Crowley started to shake his head then stopped. “When you say that it might not go to trial, how likely is it to not go to trial?” </p><p>Sarabi spoke up there before Bee could answer. “I’m not going to sugarcoat it, it’s very possible that it might not go to court at all. If it does, then it’ll probably be a long time before any outcome happens. Honestly, while we can gather evidence, we have no control over CPS deciding to prosecute. Then if they do, it’s going to take time. I’ve seen cases take upwards to 6 months before ever seeing a court room besides the initial arrest appearance.” </p><p>Both Azira and Crowley looked pale at that admission. Neither one realized just how long this whole process would take. </p><p>“Real life is rarely depicted correctly on tv, I’m sure both of you are thinking this sounds farfetched and ridiculous to take this long with all the evidence we have. And you’re not wrong to feel that way, however this is law at the moment and we can only operate within the confines of it. We are going to push for justice, as we always do, but know this isn’t going to be easy or quick.” Bee told both of them, standing to shake their hands. </p><p>“I know this is hard, and you’re doing the right thing to get someone like Enoch off the street, but you need to know the truth of it.” </p><p>_____________________________</p><p>Both were exhausted when they got home, Anathema was waiting for them with tea and coffee. </p><p>“How did it go?” Anathema asked, placing a kiss on Azira’s head as she sat at the breakfast bar in their kitchen. </p><p>“They have enough evidence to proceed with arresting him, but they’re not 100% that it’ll go to trial and if it does, it could be a year before a verdict.” Crowley explained. </p><p>Anathema scowled but didn’t say anything more on the subject. </p><p>“Come on, I already have Netflix pulled up for us to watch a movie. Dinner should be delivered soon, I hope you’re in the mood for Chinese takeout.” </p><p>“You’re amazing, Ana. That’s just what I need right now.” Azira smiled at her sister.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So this chapter took a little research, and I’m pretty sure I did make some mistakes so if you spot any, let me know! I did do some research into timelines and unfortunately, in 2017, only about 4% of reported rape cases even saw the inside of a courtroom. In 2018-19, that number dropped even lower (1.5%). Those that did make it to court appearances, it took between 4-8 months for the wheels of justice to turn, and sadly less than 1/3 of those cases that made it to court resulted in a conviction.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some more Hastur/Ligur and Azira time!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter will have a panic attack. So, as always, practice self care my loves!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was nearing Halloween now and Azira hadn’t heard back from Bee about whether CPS was going to proceed with trial. Sarabi had stayed in contact with Azira, making sure she stayed updated on the case. She was also performing a one woman manhunt for Sandalphon who’d disappeared again. Azira wasn’t sure if that was a relief or if it was a curse but either way, she was on edge and jumpy lately. She’d been having nightmares almost every night now in fear that once they arrested Sandalphon, they’d just piss him off. </p><p>It was Saturday night, meaning the library closed at midnight again. Crowley had already texted and said he was off early so he went home and would be back to pick her up when her shift ended. </p><p>It was 5 minute til midnight when the doors opened. Azira came around the shelf she was at to tell whoever came in that they would need to come back on Monday when she saw Hastur and Ligur. </p><p>“Hey Azira!” Hastur said, raising his hand in greeting. Azira tried to hide the flinch but Ligur’s sharp gaze caught it and his eyes narrowed. </p><p>“Hello Hastur. Ligur. How have you two been lately?” Azira asked, trying to cover the earlier flinch. </p><p>“Got an A on that paper you recommended those books for. Thanks to you.” Hastur grinned. </p><p>Azira’s face brightened at that news, “Oh that’s wonderful, dear! I’m so happy you got a great grade on the paper!” </p><p>They chatted while Azira locked up the library again. Once they were outside and the library was secured, Azira noticed she didn’t see the Bentley in the parking area. She pulled out her phone, motioning for Hastur and Ligur to be quiet a moment while she called Crowley. <br/>The phone went to voicemail. Azira scowled slightly. She tried calling Anathema but nobody answered, which wasn’t unexpected since Anathema was with a man she met in class. Walking home was out of the question since they lived on the other side of London. Azira tried to quash the panic rising up in her. </p><p>“Everything okay, Azira?” Ligur asked, seeing her tensing up. </p><p>“Not really. Crowley isn’t answering his phone and I can’t walk home since we are on the other side of London. He was supposed to pick me up but he probably fell asleep and forgot to charge his phone.” Azira tried to keep the tears from falling but it was a losing battle. </p><p>Hastur and Ligur looked at each other, Hastur reaching up to put his hand on Azira’s shoulder. She flinched hard then looked at Hastur guiltily when he dropped his hand without touching her. </p><p>“Well we can escort you home, if you want. The subway can get us close enough and we can walk you home from there.” Hastur offered. “Leaving you on your own isn’t an option.” </p><p>Azira started to shake her head, “I could-couldn’t ask you to do that, you’d have to come all the way back over here.” The tears started to drop, despite Azira trying to wipe them away. Hastur’s face looked pinched, like she’d just insulted him. </p><p>“Azira, you can’t expect us to leave you by yourself in the middle of the night! That’s just asking for someone to attack you!” Hastur raised his voice slightly, trying to get Azira to understand him. </p><p>Azira felt the world start pushing down on her and breathing was getting harder. When Hastur raised his voice, a small whimper escaped, and she dropped to the ground, covering her head in a protective way. Hastur’s face drained of all color, making his already pale face look ghostly. Both him and Ligur dropped to their knees next to the hyperventilating woman. She flinched violently, half pushing out her arms to fend off anymore touches. </p><p>“Azira, I need you to listen to me. You’re going to pass out if you don’t get your breathing under control. We’re going to breathe together, okay? Copy my breathing.” Hastur instructed her, hovering his hands above her shoulders but not touching her. It took several tense seconds before Azira showed any signs of hearing or listening to Hastur. Ligur hovered beside them, worry clouding his face. </p><p>Finally, Azira seemed to let go and let Hastur guide her breathing until it returned to normal. She felt dizzy and disoriented after the panic attack. </p><p>“I am sorry, Azira. I didn’t mean to yell at you or trigger a panic attack. That was never my intention and I shouldn’t have raised my voice at all.” Hastur apologized once he realized Azira was lucid again. </p><p>It took several more moments for Azira to nod, acknowledging that she heard Hastur. “I-I’m sorry you had to see tha-that. Th-thank you for helping me.” She hiccuped. She didn’t uncurl from the ball she’d put herself into yet. </p><p>Hastur stumbled back and Ligur’s breath hitched at Azira’s statement.  </p><p>“What bloody reason do you have to apologize?! He yelled at you, you’re not at fucking fault.” Ligur said, trying to keep his voice from sounding hard. Azira still flinched and Ligur tried to stop his face from showing his emotions. </p><p>“What happened to you?” Hastur whispered. </p><p>Azira tensed even more but neither man pushed for her to answer. </p><p>“You don’t want to know.” Azira finally whispered, low enough that had they been standing any further back, they’d have never heard her. </p><p>Shaking his head, Hastur responded, “I’m sure I don’t but I know whatever happened, you didn’t deserve it. Nobody should be so afraid that they flinch every time someone tries to touch them or they fall into a panic attack at someone raising their voice. Come on, let us bring you home.” He held out his hand, waiting for Azira to take it. </p><p>Lifting her head, she stared back and forth between his hand and his and Ligur’s faces. Both men kept their faces neutral so as to not further scare her. Finally, she reached out slowly and accepted his hand. Pulling her up, he let her get her balance then dropped her hand. </p><p>“Come on, where do you live? We’ll bring you home and kick Crowley’s ass for leaving you out here.” Hastur said, smiling at Azira. </p><p>____________________________</p><p>They navigated the subway since Azira had never been on it before. Once they were seated on the subway, Ligur looked at Azira, trying to get her to make eye contact with him. </p><p>Finally catching her eye, “You don’t have to tell us but know that as long as we’re around, we will help keep you safe.” </p><p>Hastur nodded before adding, “My mother was a drug addict, I never knew who my father was, my mother used to tell me he was married and his perfect little family couldn’t be bothered with us. My mother and her boyfriends used to abuse me until I was taken out of her custody. My foster parents took me in when I was 11 and I acted out a lot. I’d go from being hateful and angry to scared and nervous. It’s why I’m majoring in psychology, I want to help kids and adults understand that they aren’t responsible for the actions of others.” </p><p>Azira could feel tears falling down her face again and she reacted unconsciously. She reached out and pulled Hastur into a hug. </p><p>“The world is so lucky to have you.” She mumbled into his jacket. Hastur was still for a moment, not used to people touching him, but he relaxed and returned her hug. He pulled back right away when Azira tensed up. </p><p>“My family weren’t good people. I haven’t seen them in almost a year, they left on my 18th birthday last year.” Azira told them quietly. </p><p>“Good riddance.” Ligur growled. Hastur nodded. </p><p>“I was attacked the same day and was in hospital for over a month, recovering. He’s still out there, I’m not sure where.” </p><p>Hastur and Ligur made hissing noises but stopped when Azira flinched again. They sat in silence for a few minutes, the sound of the empty subway the only noise, until Azira’s phone suddenly started ringing. </p><p>Pulling it out of her pocket, she quickly answered Crowley’s call. Hastur and Ligur listened silently to the one sided conversation, keeping close watch to make sure nothing upset their new friend. </p><p>“I’m okay Crowley. Do you remember Hastur and Ligur? The two gentlemen who walked me to your shop a few weeks back? Yes. They’re bringing me home. We’re on the subway. No, they know the way. We don’t live far from the station, we can walk. I’m not mad, please don’t be upset with yourself, dear. It happens.” </p><p>Azira smiled, laughing softly as Crowley kept apologizing for falling asleep. She wrapped up the call, telling Crowley she’d be home soon.  Placing the phone back in her pocket, she smiled at Hastur and Ligur. </p><p>“Thank you both again for taking me home. You didn’t need to but I really appreciate it.” Azira told them. </p><p>“Nah, don’t mention it. We weren’t about to leave you alone in the middle of the night.” Ligur responded. </p><p>___________________</p><p>Leaving the subway station, the trio started walking towards Mayfair. They kept up a stream of conversation, much lighter than what was discussed on the subway. Azira told them of her desire to open a book shop and specialize in repairing books, both men laughing when she admitted she really didn’t want to sell books, rather she’d prefer collecting them. </p><p>They reached Azira’s apartment building before long. </p><p>“Thank you again for bringing me home. You really didn’t need to go so far out of your way to do so, but I’m glad you did. I could ask Crowley to drive you guys home if you want?” Azira offered.</p><p>Shaking their heads, Hastur and Ligur declined. “Appreciate it but we’re good.” </p><p>Ligur took out his phone and handed it to Azira, “If you want, put your number in my phone and I’ll send you mine and Hastur’s numbers. I think this is the beginning of a very good friendship.” </p><p>Azira smiled, agreeing with him. She put her phone number in his phone and he sent her a text with Hastur’s number. She programmed both into her phone. Reaching out, she gave both a quick hug and wishing them a good night as she entered her apartment building.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So don’t get mad at Crowley in this chapter. I just wanted to highlight that humans do make mistakes, even if they weren’t intended. My husband has done this to me and I’ve done it to him lol. I’ve fallen asleep with my phone on silent and left him stranded at work for 7 hours. By the time I got up and got to him, he had just enough time to come home and shower and go right back to work. We get frustrated and upset at the time, but laugh about it later. I just thought this would be a perfect chance for Azira, Ligur, and Hastur to get to know each other.</p><p>Updates are probably going to slow down a bit for the moment. I just lost a whole week of work due to technical issues and I’m playing catch up lol. I spend 11 hours a day looking at a computer screen for work, then another 2-3 hours on my laptop for school afterwards and technology is burning me out right now! I’m not even going to bother with an update schedule because I cannot stick to it as you’ve all seen. I am currently 2 chapters ahead in the story so hopefully that will stay the case and updates won’t be spaced out too much. </p><p>As always, I love you guys very much and appreciate all the love that you guys send me. It means more to me than I can express.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am well aware that Hastur and Ligur are both really OOC but I absolutely LOVE the protective Hastur/Ligur trope lol. I take total responsibility for their blatant OOCness, but I need them to be OOC in this since I have plans for this lol. I hope it’s not too bad. </p><p>I hope this highlights too, the startlingly statistics of rape cases that occur, yet how few of them ever actually reach a court room. In 2018, it's estimated that 734,630 people were raped, and that's just people who reported their attacks. (source: https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics#:~:text=The%20self%2Dreported%20incidence%20of,the%20United%20States%20in%202018. ) </p><p>There are so many who don't report too, who suffer in silence. If you are suffering in silence, DM here, email me at fallen.cosplayer@gmail.com, I will help as best I can. Please know you're not alone in your suffering, we will find resources, I will be your ear, your confidant, I won't let you suffer silently, because nobody deserves it. I love you all!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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